Thursday, November 15, 2007

OOOOO twins!!!



Phew..this is some test! Changing, feeding, burping, washing, eating, sleeping ( and not always in that order)Twins sure are hard work, I am sick of getting peed on and sicked up on!

The ladies are 8 weeks old and packing on the pounds (Eden is 6lb9 and Esme 6lb8 at the weigh in last Friday) and my boobs are feeling the pressure! I had NO problems feeding 1 baby when I had my son, but I am constantly playing catchup with 2 and have decided not to beat myself up and am starting to 'top' them up with formula if need be to stop the constant demands for food..so I can sleep some. Don't get me wrong I like the 'full breast' thing..but I prefer having some time to 'do stuff; round the house, and get at least 3-4 hours solid sleep into my schedule too.

The really wierd thing is the 'SEMI celebrity status' we have achieved just by procreating 2 babies at once...I can't walk 10meters without someone stopping me..OOOOOOO twins!!! I am thinking about getting a T-shirt that answers all the questions......YES THEY ARE TWINS..2 GIRLS...YES THEY ARE IDENTICAL...YES THEY ARE SMALL THEY WERE PREMATURE...NO THEY WEREN"T THROUGH FERTILITY TREATMENT.....honestly!

Have had some friends round a few times and try to get out ( just to the store) at least 1/day..but beyond that I am pretty much house bound and beholden to these eating/pooping machines that I love dearly. My boy Dylan is SO great and helps Mamma out as much as he can..but I think he is feeling the pressure as today he disappeared down stairs with our room mate Jill ( his 21 year old girlfriend) and skipped back up in his underwear covered in make up..obviously too many female hormones in the house..BD was disgusted when he came home from work...thinks I am turning Dylan gay! I just laughed.

Days just melt into each other and I am just looking forward to my folks coming for Xmas, as I have to admit I miss my Mum...can't wait to see her and Dad with their new grandchildren!

Have posted the most recent pics for your pleasure and will try to keep the updates coming.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

The Girls are home!!!



This is going to be a really brief post, seems my life is not my own any more..I even have to schedule my toilet breaks these days!!
I am writing this whilst breast feeding Esme,Eden is squeaking at me from her car seat next to me and my boy is asking for a snack. Thank god I can multi-task with the best of them!
The NICU journey lasted 25days, it is a time I both want to cherish and forget,and the girls never looked back from day 1..I am in awe at the strength of these little ladies and also at the dedication, care and support the NICU staff who looked after our precious girls..now the fun truely begins.
They arrived home on Sat 13th, and I got quite emotional leaving the NICU ..must be geting soft in my old age..all 5 of us squeezed into my little Dodge Caliber and our son Dylan sat in between his new sisters looking proud and shocked at the same time..come to think of it BD had the same look on his face..bless..it was so nice to arrive home as a family complete at last.
Sat day and night was fine and they only woke 1 in the night to feed at 3am, then again at 7am just as I hoped things were going to plan..I went back to sleep and woke gain at 9am feeling funny, as Sunday progressed I felt steadily worse, aches, fever,shivers and headache and spent most of the afternoon and all evening in bed just waking up to feed the girls. Let me tell you , you do not want to be sick with twins...Sunday night was hell,as the girls were waking up every 1-2hours to feed, I tried everything else and was still feeling awful, my boobs hurt and I was dizzy. I sent BD to the spare room to sleep as he had work on Monday (and to be honest he was irritating me asking what was wrong with them). By 5am and practically no sleep I was in tears and ready to take them back to the hospital and drop them off in cardboard box with a note saying I wasn't ready and had changed my mind, when they finally fell asleep for a few hours. Monday morning I phoned and spoke to a nurse friend of mine she diagnosed me ( correctly as it turned out today after seeing my Dr)as suffering from mastitis..hurrah..another problem in this wonderful gestation saga! I am now on a 10 day course of anti biotics and feeling a whole lot better already ( they also slept good last night which helped alot).

Well thats all for now...told you NEVER boring!!


Oh I couldn't resist the picture of the boy in his haloween outfit..ha, ha!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Phew!!! The worst is over! Welcome to the world..Part 1






Is it really 8 days since the girls were born!!! WHAT A WEEK!
Firstly let me say..ANYONE that has an elective C-section must be NUTS!Jesus it HURTS, give me a V-Jay-jay delivery any day!
As you know my c-section was planned ( apparantly emergency ones are worse) and I have to say it was a very strange experience. The spinal block was fine and worked quicky and effectively, before I knew it my legs were numb, and I was laid back on the table in my gown..which was promptly lifted up exposing my nether regions and fat thighs to the ridiculous number of staff ( 25!!) in the Operating Theater and clipped in front of me, masking my view. Unfortunately it did not mask the smell of my burning flesh as they started the procedure..this together with my low blood pressure promptly made me feel sick, and I started gagging into a dish (kindly laid by my head by the chatty, friendly male anethatist)until they administered some anti-sickness drug through the IV that worked a treat ( now if only they could sell this stuff for hangovers I need not suffer ever again!). BD & his Mum came in all gowned up..for a minute I fantasised he was a Dr as he looked really McSteamy in the scrubs and paper hat (I could see his Mum felt the same way). I couldn't believe how quickly my Dr said those immortal lines that I have heard on TV's Baby Story so many times ...." You are going to feel alot of pressure now as we get the babies out" . Eden Olivia entered the world at 8:47am & Esme Grace entered the world feet first at 8:48am after some untangling of the cords. Both cried like kittens, which brought tears of joy to our eyes, and the teams got to work assessing them as the Dr's cut my tubes and started sewing me up.
Eden was 4lb and Esme 4lb 6oz, and I was thrilled when they brought Eden over to us so I could have a brief hold of her..I really wasn't expecting that. Esme was having breathing difficulties so they whisked her away in an isolette, stopping briefly so we could see her. Both beautiful, tiny, BLACK haired ( thats why I had so much heartburn!)princess's.

After being sewn up, cleaned up, and some painkillers shoved up my bum I was placed in recovery till the morphine wore off enough so I could wiggle my toes. After that I was wheeled down to the post-partum maternity ward and placed in a private room. BD, Mother in law and Father in law came down with me. A liason nurse from the NICU kept us up to date witht he girls progress down stairs and after an hour or so said that they had both been place on ventilators and were being given surfactant to help their lungs cope. I couldn't keep my eyes open and sent the family home for some rest as I fell into an uncomfortable sleep. Over the next few hours I woke up with a big case of the shivers, and started to feel like I had been cut open. Do you realise that every move you make, cough or sneeze affects your bodies core area...well I do now..eventually at 4pm I decided i should take the first walk to clean up in the bathroom ( I had a catheta, which stayed in for 18 hours, but I still had pads etc..to change from the blood), although the actual distance was about 8ft it may as well hqve been a bloody marathon..it was agony walking and I was bent over , having hot sweats and having to stop every step to compose myself and force myself onward. Truely, people that choose this method of birth for cosmetic reasons must be CRAZY! ( or they get more morphine and pain relief than I got!!!).Luckily that was as bad as it got and everything has been better since then!

At around 4.30pm the family came back ( with DC too..which was wonderful..he had to check that the DR's had taken the babies out of Mummys belly), and I got into a wheelchair as we organised our 1st trip to the NICU to see the girls. Off we went with my 'bag of wee'riding on the side of the wheelchair ( My mother in law looked down and said " you look dehydrated" ..nice, I would have laughed but I knew it would hurt too much).
Seeing the girls wasn't as scary as i thought it was going to be, yes they were hooked up to lots of machines and had the vetilators hlping them breathe, but I was told they were doing OK and we knew that they were in the best possible care, so after a brief visit and some pics we let them rest, and headed back up stairs and I went back to sleep.

The next few days were a bit of a blur of sleeping, NICU visits, attempting to pump milk every 4 hours, and slowly the pain got more and more bearable;although nothing they give you really stops it except the Morphine; Naproxen every 8 hours was the next best thing combined with Tylenol 3's every 4hours, and by the 3rd day I was able to walk down to the NICU ( very slowly) by myself. As ALWAYS lately, they found out that I had a further complication of anemia, so I was put on iron tablets to sort that out. The girls were progressing nicely and Eden ( the smallest) was taken off her Ventilator on the 2nd day, Esme still struggled a little but was eventually taken off the hers on day 3. RELIEF! The first major hurdle was over, and when I was sent home on day 4 ( a day early due to me doing well and a baby explosion in Saskatoon so they needed the room) my milk had come in, the pain was much more managable, the girls were progressing nicely and I got to sleep in my own bed again after 5 weeks of hospital beds..HEAVEN!!!!!! I stayed there waking only to pump for 15 hours!

Well thats all for now, I will get you up to date tomorrow, but it's late and I'm tired and my wonderful, big, soft, lovely bed is calling my name!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

One big Mamma!

It’s the 23rd day of my incarceration and the days are passing really quickly
(surprisingly!) ..only 6 days to go till the lady bumps arrive! This time next week I’ll be mother of 3!!YIKES! On Mondays Ultra Sound the estimated weight of the girls were 4lbs & 4lb 6oz……!!! Wow, no wonder I’m a big mamma with a pregnant ‘waddle’. My son weighed 7lb 8oz when he was born (39 weeks 5days), and here I am at 31 weeks with 8lb 6oz of baby in my belly! HOW do women go full term with twins????????????
All the NST’s and daily monitoring is going really well, and the twins are doing everything that ridiculously healthy, happy babies should be doing. That in itself is a really bitter sweet feeling, as it seems such a shame to pull them out of the womb where they are thriving, and put them in NICU where they will be separated from each other and from me..where they will be pricked with needles, hurt with tubes and prodded by Drs and nurses. ..that’s the curse of this condition I guess..one minute it’s all going well, then the next they could be gone….and there are TOO many stories of parents deciding to extend beyond the 32 weeks because they are dong so well, only to lose 1 or both before the new due date due to sudden and deadly cord compressions.

On a brighter note BD is actually starting to realize the end is in sight and we are getting on very well at the moment…he even MADE supper for me on Monday, ‘mans favorite’ Spaghetti Bolognaise ( his signature dish)and it was a welcome change from the hospital diet.
I can’t help but wonder about how the house is looking in my absence, with foresight I have arranged for cleaners to come in and deep clean the house before I get home…so I am expecting a phone call to tell us we have been burgled when they survey the mess!
It sounds like BD and the boy have been living a real bachelor existence filled with junk food, video games, poor personal hygiene, late nights and bed sharing (which is very naughty as DC hardly ever gets to sleep in our bed, I have seen too many issues in families that encourage this)..in fact BD told me the other day that he had neglected the front lawn and had allowed it to grow so long that the NEIGHBOUR cut the grass on Sunday without telling BD! I had to laugh, but it’s a bloody good thing I am not in here for longer, lord knows how far back BD would have slipped on the evolutionary scale (thinking caveman status).

My room mate that snored was here for quite a while but her waters broke Sunday night so she went for a C-section on Monday, since then I have had 2 ladies in for inductions ( latest one just arrived) ….thank god for the ear plugs, as no offence, I am sick of hearing the moans and groans of women going into labor next to me, and having husbands & family members in the room all day and night ( the room is cramped as it is)… it really makes me realize that I am definitely done with childbirth for good after this..sterilization here I come!

I’ll try to get in one more blog before the big day….keep those fingers FIRMLY crossed for us!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

And the saga continues

Week 2 of my incarceration is going by surprisingly quickly, have had a few visitors already which is great, and they are being quite inventive with the gifts they are bestowing on me ( as their obvious 1st choice would have been pizza, goodies and chocolate which is now banned in my diabetic presence) , I have received some lovely gladioli, magazines, books, puzzle books, a balloon on a stick and a cuddly toy so far, as well as more offers to ‘break me out’ for lunch ( which I have obviously accepted!) . I should really appreciate this time, as it’s all about ME….as I am aware that as soon as the lady bumps arrive I will be forgotten ..for ever!

For anyone that does not have children, or is in the process of deciding whether they want children I would suggest you never visit anyone on an ante-partum ward..it really could put you off for life! There are women here who are suffering from acute ‘morning sickness’ where they have been hospitalized for their own safety due to the fact that they are vomiting constantly and are hooked up to IV’s to hydrate them, so I hear loud retching sounds at all hours. Other ladies are on permanent bed rest (can’t even get up to shower or pee) because their membranes have ruptured, or they are bleeding. However the majority of the women are here for inductions, so there is a lot of comings and goings…I was quite surprised how many inductions don’t work at first, so they spend all day here with no results, then they are sent home and told to come back the next day. Needless to say all of this information, coupled with my own experiences have been instrumental in me making the decision that I am definitely going to get my tubes tied when I have the C-section. Previous to coming here I was of the opinion that BD should ‘get the snip’, after all I surmised that’s only fair! I have been through 2 pregnancies, childbirth, breast feeding and all the rest that goes along with it..HE should go through something a little bit painful ….just to be polite if nothing else! I must be growing up ( or giving up?) as now I just think screw it, while they are in there they may aswell just do the job..then it’s done..no more babies, no more worries about taking the pill, no stress waiting for BD to work up the courage ( from what I have seen men are such wimps about it) etc.. In fact BD had already mentioned a few ‘reservations’ when I brought up the subject..his favorite quote being “ you never castrate a good bull ” ( obviously he’s never heard of sweetmeats!) ..so I am sure he will be thrilled when I tell him the news.

So how am I doing on the health front these days? Well, I came into hospital pretty healthy (or so I thought) , I took my daily prenatal tablet and my nightcap of Gaviscon, but all in all I was feeling pretty good. Now however I am on multiple medications! Thanks to the Ranitidine for excessive heartburn, a twice daily stool softener (for the constipation my new diabetic diet has given me!), steroids for the babies lungs, and my 7 chemstrips (finger pricks to test my blood sugar) a day I feel quite the patient! In fact my fingers are running out of places to prick, and I’m worried if I have a bath I will take on water!

I’m in a semi-private room (2 beds) and have had numerous ‘cell mates’ so far..ranging from a lady who got induced and went into active labor at 2am ( the husband was here the whole time with her too..cozy eh? ), a Sri-Lankan lady who talked incessantly in her sleep, to another ‘lady’ that had a bit of a flatulence problem..In fact I think my self lucky that I didn’t get the pleasure of the company of the ‘wild eyed’ looking woman that is constantly pacing the corridor at the moment muttering something about Methadone! Actually when you think about it I should be writing a bleeding ‘sit-com’ for TV about this whole pregnancy experience…either that or a documentary crew should have followed me around from day 1! I am sure that my experience could have a substantial impact on teenage pregnancy rates if they played it to girls in sex education classes in high school!

On that note I will sign off…20 days to go and counting, I am starting to get butterflies in my tummy when I think of it being so close! Thank you for all the messages of support, it really, really helps and means a lot to me..I am glad you are out there in the world reading and understanding (and may I say offering some bloody good advice too!) my thoughts.

UPDATE: new lady in room snores louder than BD…2 hours sleep last night..BD bringing ear plugs later…I may be on prozac by the time this hospital stay is over!

Friday, August 24, 2007

Arghhhh

Just when I thought ENOUGH is enough!

It’s Thursday night at 9.30pm, I am in a semi private room in the University Hospitals Ante-Partum ward, and have been here since mid-day on Monday.
To my massive disappointment I was told soon after arrival that there is no internet access for patients in the hospital at all…….arghhhh..cut off from the outside world completely for a month..how am I going to cope without email and the online-support group???? In fact the only way I can continue with my blog is to write up everything on word then get someone to help me escape somewhere with internet access( the University campus and the city downtown has wireless) for an hour max, so I can transfer it over and check my emails..not exactly what I had envisioned! So I will probably be only adding new posts 1/week….and they are probably going to be long.

I am here for fetal monitoring and am getting 2 / hour long NST sessions ( Non Stress Tests…monitoring fetal heart rate ) per day and several Ultra sound/ Doppler flow studies /week ( Doppler flow studies are done on the ultra sound machine and it shows how the blood is moving through the umbilical cords). What we DO NOT want to see is decals (heart decelerations) as that would indicate cord compressions and/or knot tightening…. that means babies in distress and emergency C-section asap.

So, I brought plenty of books and magazines to read and plenty of pampering products to ‘fill in’ all the spare time, friends and colleagues are coming to visit and had promised to bring fabulous tasty foods and treats to spoil me with…however, it seems my body had different ideas as I was told yesterday morning by my Dr that on top of everything else …guess what???? I have gestational diabetes! COME ON..now this is really not fair, I have tried to remain positive and optimistic throughout this journey..which has been hard..on top of the physical discomfort of a twin pregnancy with the fatigue, rapidly expanding girth, increased pressure and contractions, I have been dealing with the massive stress of worrying about the mono-mono situation..which in turn has negatively affected my relationship with BD as we deal with things differently. My son is worried I am not coming home and would prefer the babies just stayed in my belly for ever (not a solution I am willing to consider at this point) and he cries every time he leaves the hospital after visiting me…now on top of ALL of that I can’t even drown my sorrows in food! What exactly did I do to deserve all of this??? I blame my friends for cursing me after my last ‘breeze of a pregnancy’ …even my Dad warned me that I had it easy and should quit after the boy was born…

So my diabetes was confirmed yesterday, and to be honest I was not surprised as I have been a thirsty, hungry peeing machine for weeks, in fact I had brought up my concern with the Dr a few weeks ago, but was told that my age, weight, history etc..meant it was unlikely I would be affected….HA!…my gut instinct was right again.
So how does it effect me and the babies? Well, luckily now they know I have it the babies will be fine ( if left untreated Gestational diabetes can result in very small or more often overly large babies…and rarely still birth) , I on the other hand am at a greater risk of developing diabetes later in life, and although 99% of the time the condition ends when the pregnancy ends, sometimes this is not the case. How it effects me now is very simple,my body cannot break down sugars effectively, so my diet has been radically changed and calorie restricted, and if that in itself doesn’t work then I will have to get regular insulin injections for the remainder of the pregnancy. To monitor my blood sugar levels I have to test my blood (by pricking my finger and putting blood on a swab and into a meter) before and after every meal, before bed and 1st thing in the morning…that on top of painful steroid injections in my ass, other blood works, blood pressure and temp checks daily means my life is more hectic here than when I was at work full time!!!!

It is comforting to see the babies doing well on the monitors, as they have had no decals at all thus far, and are they ever moving around!! My belly is oftentimes like a freak show with heels and bums and elbows sticking out all over the place…weird! This morning I went for an ultra sound and the Dr switched the machine to 4D and I got to see one of my babies face as if it was a photograph…..I can’t describe how amazing that was, how clear and beautiful she looked with chubby cheeks and her Daddy’s nose. The other twin was lying face down and they were right next to each other, so I only got to see her cute little bum and the back of her ear. But like the Dr said “seen 1, seen them both with identical!”
Bizarre! The estimated weights were 3lb 2oz and 2lb 13oz so they are doing fabulous and if we make it to the optimum 32 weeks they are looking to be on track for over 4lb each..which is way more than we could have hoped for as every ounce counts once they come out!

Friday, August 17, 2007

Update

Have had a hectic few weeks..just realised I am having 2 babies soon and thought I had better buy some stuff and get organised!At the last ultra sound babies were 2lb & 2lb1oz, so all is going swell ( literally) .I go into hospital on Monday for 4 weeks of monitoring, and will catch up with my blogging there...get ready for the random ramblings of a bored prisoner!
Be back soon

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

The rollercoaster ride continues

Just got back from a long weekend at a friends cabin by a lake a few hours away from the city. The boy and I went with a girl friend and her 2 boys, and it was lovely. The weather was hot(above 30degC every day)and I have to admit i missed the air conditioning on a night,as it's now getting harder and harder to get comfortable in bed..and get in and out too! WE had a blast and were totally spoiled by my friend Deenna, who is the hostess with the mostess! My appetite is quite scary and I have put on 36lb, so when someone offers to feed and cook great food for me, I am thrilled!
This however, is my last journey outside of the city till the girls are born, as I found out my hospital schedule at my Dr's appointment last Wednesday. I am to go into the hospital for monitoring on August 20th and am scheduled for a c-section on September 18th! YIKES! It's close! The appointment went well, and the Dr estimated their weights as 1lb 6oz & 1lb 10oz, so all the food is working!!
BD stayed home and hung out with friends, our relationship is getting tense, as i am in nesting mode and he is in denile. I am concerned about finances, lack of family support and help when i get out of hospital and after the babies come home ( my family is in the UK and his live over 2hours away), missing home when I go into hospital for weeks and I am also still worried about having to have an emergency c-section if anything goes wrong!
BD lives in the NOW and is not looking or thinking about the future at all it seems,which frustrates the heck out of me. I am more emotional than normal, and have to admit I am taking it personally. It's not like he has changed, he has always been like this ( and most of the time it has been something i have accepted and hasn't bothered me) but right now I can't stand it and need him to wake up and realise I am justified in being concerned about things..we need to both be ready for this, as life is going to change for ever when we become parents of 3!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Summertime and the living is easy




Goodness me..has it really been that long since I last posted? I am SO busy you would not believe!

I am 24 weeks pregnant with the twins today, and I have celebrated with a Dennys breakfast this morning and floating in THE POOL all afternoon to keep cool!BLISS!!Why am i celebrating? Well as of today IF the girls arrive they will in all likelyness survive..it's one of the last milestones I have to overcome on this rare pregnancy journey. I am no longer working as I am on disability till the birth ( actually better off financially, as don't pay tax on my reduced earnings). My doctor wants me to rest and take it easy until I go inpatient in hospital for 4 weeks of fetal monitoring before a planned C-section at 32 weeks...

Many families in the USA opt to go inpatient from 24 weeks( minimum viability), but after alot of soul searching and advice we decided 28 weeks was right for us, as we just felt that the issues and medical complications that effect tiny premature babies ( 24-28 weeks) were something we did not want our family to go through/deal with, and when we go in for monitoring it means we are essentially saying we are prepared to have an emergency C-section IF the twins go into distress ( possibly indicating cord compression issues) whilst they are being monitored. It's certainly not a fun job discussing or thinking on these decisions, and there seems to be no right or wrong answer..what we do know from all the research is , that at 28 weeks they have a vastly increased chance of having no 'life long complications', and by 32 weeks they should be well able to handle life outside the womb....staying inside any longer has been likened to " being a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs" by one woman on the support site I belong too....so 32 weeks is the MAGIC number...please pray ( or keep your fingers crossed) that we make it!

It's kinda weird as people keep asking when i am due( because I look much bigger than my 24 weeks) , and I find myself stumped for an answer! I mean, my offical due date is given as November 11th, but 32 weeks is September 16th....it just isn't an easy question to answer..so i just say I am having twins so I'll be having them much sooner than my November due date...then I run ( well waddle fast holding my belly! ha, ha)

I have crammed quite alot in the last 4 weeks.I have been to Portland in Oregon for a weekend with a friend ( last solo trip for me for the next 18 years I expect), which was great, we hired a Mustang Convertbile, shopped, ate ( she drank :<)
stayed in posh hotels and pretended we were young,rich and free of family and other commitments ..luckily I have a very vivid imagination ( being an only child helps) , and we had a few Thelma and Louise moments that I really enjoyed. I also went away for 5 days last week to a friends cabin about 4 hours North of the city, in Northern Saskatchewan. It was bliss..BD stayed over 1 night, then the boy and I just chilled out at the beach and topped up our tans with my wonderful friend and her family..I didn't know that there are over 100,000 lakes in this province of Canada, mostly up North, and after seeing some of this myself I can see why people love it up there! I think we are going to have to invest in a cabin, boat and better fishing tackle..for sure the kids would LOVE it..Dylan is such a beach, surf dude all ready, and he spent HOURS just amusing himself in the shallows. The water is that warm, it was lovely to cool off...just wish i didn't look like an obese Pamela Anderson in my pregnancy bikin!!

As for how i am feeling, well, I DEFINITIELY feel heavily pregnant now, at the last scan the girls were both over a 1lb, and they are KICKING me all over! I am allready noticing different 'personalities' . One of the girls is at the top of my womb ( above my belly button to the right) just under my ribs, and the other is bottom left under my belly button. The top twin has one hell of a kick and is quick to let me know when shes A. Hungry B.Awake C.Enjoying the Food. She just loves it when I eat and gets all excited,especially when I have something sweet ( which is rare as i don't have a sweet tooth). Bottom twin kicks are much softer and less frequent, and I think she is just dominated by the top twin. She is most lively first thing in the morning when they both kick me out of bed for breakfast ( no lie ins here) ....it's a really bizarre feeling being kicked all over at the same time by 2 pairs of little feet and hands i can tell you!
I am struggling to get in and out of bed and chairs, and am suffering with horrendous acid reflux that shoots up my throat at 100mph making me gag... so instead of a bottle of wine being my solace, these days it's a glass of Gaviscon that i have before bed!
I was never blessed with particularly thin ankles or legs,( blame my mother..she should have made me stick to dancing when I was a kid!)now I regularly have wonderful swollen feet and 'Cankles' if I don't remember to elevate my feet..very sexy!

The boy goes back to day care next week, to give me a rest, so I will have more time to keep this updated!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

I am alive and well!!!!!!!

PHEW!! Guess you have been wondering where the heck I'd gone! My fancy lap top broke and had to be sent away to the manufacturer to get fixed..I just got it back today, and I will never let it go again! Isn't it just TOO funny how you become so dependant on things....SO, whats new in my crazy life i hear you cry???

Well, I will give you the somewhat shortened version of the last 4 weeks activities:
I have been for multiple scans, and assessments ...and I am sorry to confirm that I am definitely carrying Mono-mono twins! We were really disappointed when it was confirmed, as we had almost convinced ourselves that a membrane would be found, and I would be able to Carry them as long as possible..but it's not to be I'm afraid, and we have to accept the facts and deal with them..on the GOOD side, the little peanuts are perfect in every way, as far as the Dr's can see..and they are definitely 2 beautiful little GIRLS!!!!! Hurrah!!BD is all ready planning 'scaring the date' tactics and has mentioned ideas like.. loaded shotguns by the front door, or showing them his 'best of hockey fights'dvd ( in which he knocks out and knocks down quite a few players) before they take his girls on dates!! Moving to Alaska is another option to consider apparently!

I am just thrilled, as is our son ( who loves girls toys and dressing up..so will fit in with them just fine) and both sets of grandparents..it's just one big excuse to go crazy in the shops..as i am sure mothers of sons that are reading this will agree with me, there is TONS more fabulous clothes and things for girls than boys out there!

So, what else has been happening..well, I am getting bigger by the day, and will post some pics for you to look ( and laugh) at tonight..I am 20weeks now, and past the 'danger zones', and am getting pretty tired. I am probably quitting work next week, as the last thing I want to do is go into premature labour from working too hard, the ideal is to deliver by C-section in 12 weeks ( 2 months early), so i would hate to have to be rushed in for an emergency section..so rest, rest, rest is advised.

Speaking of rest, a funny story that happened last week. It gets pretty hot here in this part of Canada for a few months in the Summer, so I decided to buy an inflatable 'over ground' pool to put in the back garden for me and my son to enjoy in the hot weather. It is called an 'Easy Ground Pool' and is 16ft across and 4.5ft deep ( had ladders, pump and everything) and was on sale at Sears. Anyone thats been pregnant knows how much a relief it is to float around when you get bigger, and i didn't want to go to the local pool ( I'd probably raise the water level and flood the place when i got in!)...so this was a perfect idea!
What i didn't count on was the ridiculous instructions ( 40 mins and you'll be swimming...YEH RIGHT), and the ineptness of BD and his equally DIY distressed buddy..what a hassle..it took forever to erect, them putting stuff together, then me reading the instructions and 're-putting' it together again..then after 6 hours of filling this thing with our garden hose, it was only 1/2 full, so we turned off the hose, covered up the pool and went to bed..then turned on the hose the next morning....MISTAKE!! Unbeknown to us ( and not mentioned in the 5 instruction manuals) you cannot 1/2 fill it, then leave it, as it will settle funny and may be lopsided ( read this on a website AFTER it was too late) ..you guessed it, we had spent nearly 2 days setting up a lopsided pool..in fact you literally had to swim 'uphill' ! By this point I was fed up and just said leave it to warm up and we'll just live with it that way ( 3ft high one side 3.5ft the other). Unfortunately the Spring weather here had other ideas..the warm days disappeared and 10-13degC returned, on fathers day we went down to BD's folks in a city a few hours away and it was POURING with rain all day, when we got back on the evening a storm started that raged all night, and when we looked out of the window in the morning the patio furniture glass table was in a million pieces, and the umbrella was in the pool! The cover was stuck in a tree and the pool was filled with debris and had turned a wonderful shade of green!!! ARGGGGH! A GREEN, DEBRIS FILLED UPHILL POOL! Not what I had in mind at all! Hope to start again this weekend..will keep you posted on this saga!

Anyhow, thats all for now..lots more to tell you, but PLENTY of time to do all that later.

SEE BOTTOM OF PAGE FOR RECENT CORD ENTANGLEMENT OF MONO_MONO TWINS IN THE STATES!!!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Out of the mouth of babes.........


A sneak peek into our daily life….

BD likes to challenge our son D..and takes Fatherly pride in the fact , that at the tender age of 3 he can do 15 proper push ups in a row.. As I have mentioned before BD used to play sport professionally, and as such is very competitive by nature…We found out the little guy could do push ups about 8 months ago, and since that time at any family gathering, web cam session with friends and relatives back in the UK or when any of his friends visit the house and D is around BD shows off his sons party trick…..now don’t get me wrong, I find it funny, and can easily turn into the generic ‘proud mum’ that thinks her kid is ‘ever so advanced’, BD however never seems to tire of it, and if the poor kid is not feeling like showing off that day ( which to be honest doesn’t happen very often) , or is too distracted to do them properly BD threatens him with things like..”if you want to go swimming tomorrow..you’ll do 10 push ups” or he’ll offer gum or ice cream as an incentive ..poor kid, he falls for it every time..and does his trick and Daddy is satisfied once more..That was until the other night when D finally realized what BD was up to, and after the asking, pleading, reverse psychology( “ I don’t think you can even do push ups “) failed , the threats became the last resort…..” If you don’t do 5 push ups your not going to the beach this weekend” D looked long and hard at BD and said .. “Daddy you’re fired! “ …I was having my 1 glass of wine ( BD bought me a bottle for a surprise, as I had a really long day at work) , and snorted so hard that the mouth full of wine I had been savoring shot up the back of my nose and frothed out my nostrils…..What a classic retort from a 3 year old! He really does make me laugh!
I can only imagine what a zoo this place is going to turn into with 2 more kids....

Monday, May 28, 2007

A controversial subject …..what do you think?

BD and I are arguing!
Now, this itself is not an uncommon occurrence in our household..I must clarify that I am not talking about ‘plate smashing’ physical or ‘serious’ relationship ending arguments here..more of the niggly, living together on a daily basis, simmering kind..you know what I mean..he drops his clothes on the floor for the 50th time in a row, and instead of me picking them up and putting them away..I snap and scream about ‘teenage behavior’ or I wonder out loud , in an irritated tone how the heck we are supposed to teach good manners and respect to our 3 year old, if Daddy still hasn’t learnt at 32! This outburst generally makes him snap back some remark about ‘crazy womans ( or most recently pregnancy) hormones’..which only serves to enrage me further. After a little ‘silent period’ he accepts he is wrong and I am right…and then for at least 2 -3 days the clothes make it to the washing hamper or closet, before the cycle starts once more.

This argument is different, you see he is calling into question my mothering, or more to the point, my baby ‘hosting’ skills…we are arguing about DRINKING WHILE PREGNANT…..what is there to argue about I hear you shout…well let me tell you.
I am from Europe, specifically the UK and things over the pond are different to here in lots of ways ….I was under the impression that I would not experience much of a culture shock moving from England to Canada..but I was wrong…and in fact the longer I am here, the more differences I notice. The most obvious example would be language..i don’t know what Canadians speak but a lot of the time it isn’t English as I know it! Take the word FANNY..in Canada & the US this means bum, backside or arse, and I’m told it is quite a nice, cute term..but not in the UK..where fanny is actually slang for a womans V-Jay-Jay( thanks Oprah for that term..love it!)
..so when people are talking about ‘fanny packs’ or ‘perky fannies’ I start sniggering like a 12 year old!

So, anyway, back on subject …in Europe women who are pregnant DRINK! ! Yes, that’s right, they do it at home and in restaurants…and NO ONE bats an eye….do you know why? I’ll tell you..they do not get drunk, in fact they don’t really DRINK ..they just have A DRINK.. and this is the point I am trying to make to BD!
What makes this ‘argument’ even more annoying, is that I had the occasional drink when I was pregnant in the UK with my 3 year old son..and BD didn’t even comment on it, in fact he would pour me a glass of red wine in a restaurant without me even asking him too…JUST 1 though..no more. My friends didn’t act shocked or disgusted, and I never had more than 1 glass of wine or a Guinness ( full of IRON..which is GREAT for pregnant woman) in a day, and no more than 3 units a week..which is considered the safe standard in the UK by the Government.
But here the ‘social stigma’ seems to be different..it is almost implied that 1 glass of wine will disfigure the fetus for life….will cause unknown complications and low birth weight, fetal alcohol syndrome etc..etc....…Radio and TV ads say ” NO AMOUNT OF ALCOHOL IS SAFE WHILE PREGNANT” ….I am sorry but that is just WRONG!

I love a glass of red wine with dinner.. and it’s not hurting me, OR my precious cargo inside of me. In fact red wine has MANY health benefits..for the cardiovascular system, for the brain ( it has found to be a factor in preventing Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s and other brain conditions) , it has tumor fighting properties for some cancers, can de-stress and relax you..and is packed full of flavanoids ( antioxidants) ..it is now accepted that the FRENCH have been right all along ( this does not happen very often) .. 1 glass RED wine is a fantastic addition to a healthy lifestyle! I REST MY CASE!

I am not saying that drinking alcohol while pregnant should be promoted, as clearly a bottle of wine or 10 Vodkas is not something that any mother should drink, as it is clearly a bad choice for her..and her baby…but it should not be said that a tiny amount of alcohol, for relaxing and enjoying with food is going to do anything to harm babies..as there is absolutely NO evidence that shows this.. in fact a recent European study , actually says a small glass of red wine every day is a BENEFIT to mother and Baby..so there, I say let your common sense prevail..I am already struggling to get off to sleep on a night at 16 weeks pregnant, in 4 weeks or so I will have not 1 but 2 babies kicking me , and my ever growing bump will make it even harder to settle..if a small glass of wine helps..you bet I will be having one! Rather that then Nytols or hot baths!
There are so many things that are worse to have in pregnancy than the occasional drink…Coffee is FULL of toxins ( de-caf even more so if you can believe it) , Tea ..not as much but still not good, sugary pop is bad full stop.. gassy ( if you are pregnant you do not need anything to increase GAS let me tell you) and bad for already sensitive gums, Tuna fish is full of mercury …hell, even fresh air is bad due to traffic pollution these days! If we have muscle pain we can’t go in the Sauna, if we have a headache we can’t take an aspirin…and when driving around in our cars there are lunatics on the roads every day going to fast, or not watching where they are going..It’s a jungle out there!

I don’t know if BD and I will come to an agreement on this subject, but I keep emailing him arguments, studies and articles backing up my position, and he hasn’t said anything for a while..perhaps I should strike a deal with him..If I can’t have 1 more drink while I am pregnant..neither can he!! I am sure given that option, he will be offering me a glass by dinner time tonight!

Anyhow, I will be interested to hear what my friends and others think on this subject.

Returning to other news, Dr M’s office called to say my 1st scan appointment at the hospital will be on Wed June 6th , I have to drink 4 x 8oz glasses of water , so I have a full bladder for a better picture…this makes my legs cross just thinking about it..as it is, I just have to look at water and I need the bathroom…the thought of having 4 glasses then someone bouncing up and down on my full bladder for 30mins with a scanner makes me feel positively ill! Oh well, I just hope that that will be the day they find a membrane..and I can stop dwelling on what may happen…….

Till next time…

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Answers please!

So..guess you are wondering what happened .....

The long holiday weekend was pretty uneventful, and it just seemed to drag on...as we waited for Tuesday's scan and appointment with Dr M. I took it really easy, as I hadn't stopped bleeding entirely..not much to speak of really..just enough to make me a little more anxious( if that was possible).
To make matters worse blood is appearing from my other orifices too!!My nose is really annoying as I keep having nose bleeds..and brushing my teeth creates a tidal wave of blood in the sink..nice!! Apparently your gums and the skin of the inner nose is similar to your womb lining..and when you are pregnant it is extra sensitive..ahh the joys of motherhood and pregnancy!! Virgins take note..this is the mess SEX can get you into!

I didn't sleep well on Monday night and Tuesday couldn't come too soon..the tension had been hanging in the house, and if we had waited any longer I think BD and I would have killed each other. It's just so frustrating when something is so completely out of your control..he probably didn't know what to say for the best, and he does tend to dwell on the negative sometimes( he says he's a realist) ..and I was trying to be my normal positive self..whilst fighting the horrible fears and thoughts that were popping into my head. On the way to the Dr's I couldn't help but think..what if we get there, and 1 or both have died..and I didn't even know...because that's what can happen to mono-mono twins..horrible!

The ultra sound Dr was great, and to my utter relief the babies were just fine, and putting on a little show for Daddy...now that I KNEW what to ask, I said we'd been told they were mono-mono twins as there was no dividing membrane..was this true?? After some more measurements and a closer looking he had to admit that he still didn't see a membrane..and when i asked more questions he told me to speak to Dr M ..who really was the expert.. BD then took the opportunity to ask if he could tell the sex of the babies..again he said it was too early to be sure...BD looked annoyed and muttered something about seeing something on the scan...yeah right.. wishful thinking!! The Dr printed off a scan picture for us to take home,which was taken looking down on the tops of the 2 heads ( see scan pics I have attached)...they are SO close and look like they are touching..in fact they are almost spooning each other....which means they must take after me ..as BD thinks spooning is 'gay' ( along with holding hands in public and any form of PDA...professional sportsman thing again!), and only partakes in it with me a few times a year..under duress!

We were ushered into an examination room to await Dr M..I had a big list of questions to ask, from our research..and was nervously rustling the papers when she came in. Dr M has come highly recommended and everyone I have spoken to has said she's the best in the city..so I was happy to see her. She comes across as very professional and answered all our questions efficiently and to our satisfaction...unlike other horror stories I had read she was not all 'gloom & doom' about mono-mono twins, and had dealt with a few in her time ..with 'favourable outcomes' ( I didn't ask what she meant by that). She said that 8/10 times this situation arose they actually found a separating membrane at some point on the scans (as the babies get bigger it is easier to see apparently)..but she was going to be treating them as mono-mono twins until that membrane was found...hurrah an optimist like me!!

She said we were going to be sick of scans, as from now on we are having scans every 2 weeks at the University hospital fetal unit , on the most powerful Ultra Sound and scanning equipment, that would be much more in depth and done by the specialist sonographer! I felt INSTANTLY relieved..this woman KNOWS whats she's talking about..we both feel like the babies are in safe hands! Although we still do not know 100% definitely what the situation is.

We left happier than we arrived, although I was a bit annoyed that I hadn't had a pelvic exam..bloody typical, i am all clean, tidy and ready for it..expecting this Dr's thorough exam to include it..like all the others..and for the first bloody time I kept my knickers on in a Dr's office in Canada! BD found this amusing!

Well then, back to work..life as normal..however everyone at work is now staring at my bump before giving me eye contact( the twin secret is out)....my wonderful jiggly boobs are once again being ignored! My bump seems to have taken on a life of it's own..and is growing by the hour, and I have had a few people who I don't know ask .." ahh..so whens your baby due?" when I respond I don't really know, as it's twins..I become REALLY interesting and they look either shocked, amused or pitiful ( or all 3 one after each other)..but mostly just laugh and shake their heads! My clients and colleagues mostly laugh and remind me of my 'plan' to return to work straight after the baby was born!! Yeh, yeh..that will teach me to be so blase!

Some GREAT things about being pregnant with twins..
1. The Dr said I can eat ....wait for it......3200 calories a day!!!! YES..stuffing my face under Dr's orders ..what a result!!
2. I don't have to suck my belly in anymore! In fact it is impossible!!
3. If there are no seats in a room or meeting , someone gives me theirs..nice.
4. BD HAS COOKED DINNER TWICE in FOUR DAYS!!!!!! Previous to this it was twice in 4 years!!!!What a star ( and both meals were good!! Bison burger and blue cheese on the BBQ with salad , then Perogies and potatoes the next time!!)
5. The Dr said I shouldn't do any housework or lifting!!HURRAH!!! I had stopped our 2 gay cleaners in April to save cash....I can now get them to come back again..Dr's orders!( I missed them dreadfully..they had wonderful gossip and are ever so bitchy..I am such a FAG HAG..oh , and they cleaned beautifully..perfect men!)

I am sure as I get ever bigger this list Will grow...however I am more sure..that the list titled "some things NOT great about being pregnant with twins" is going to be VASTLY longer!

Off to have a bath...whilst I can still get in and out without a hoist and pulley system!

X slw X

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Knowledge is power!! Or does it do more harm than good?

So where were we......

I was laid in the DR's office watching 2 'mini me's' on the Ultra Sound screen.. already vying for my attention by pushing each other out of the way and waving to me from their watery world. The Dr was doing measurements and talking to me , but I wasn't really taking it in or listening to him to be honest..I was transfixed by the screen and the movement of the twins inside of me. I remember noting a few things that he said 'definitely identical twins, 1 low lying placenta, same sac, right size for dates, look healthy' and then he printed off 2 pictures for me to take home (they are now on the fridge door in the kitchen)and I went for lunch with a friend, before I had my appointment with the OB Dr S.

This is when life just isn't fair! I cannot tell you how much I wanted to have a drink just then.. but of course my body is not my own anymore..I am just the host who's job it is to provide the best possible environment for these cute, tiny little parasites ( I mean that in the nicest way of course). Had a lovely lunch..BUGGER Salads..I ordered Chicken Quesidilla, Fries and GRAVY ..eating for 3 don't you know! I kept on sneaking a peak of my pictures and laughing..feels like I am in a dream..I called BD and told him the latest news..He is PRAYING for boys..as an ex-pro sports man, apparently identical twin girls is his biggest NIGHTMARE ( I don't know what that says about pro-sportsman..or his checkered past before i 'saved' him..but I won't dwell on that line of thought right now).However his MALE testosterone status has shot through the roof..and in his eyes ( and other Males) ..he is Super virile and fertile..in fact ..he thinks that identical twins confirms that his sperm swims that fast and are that powerful that they literally shot up my cervix as fast as a runaway train and hit the poor egg ( that was minding it's own business ) with the force of a speeding bullet..so hard it split in two!!I am happy to let him amuse himself with these thoughts..if they make him happy...

Dr S seemed like a very nice lady, and gave me a brief exam ..including ANOTHER internal..Jeez, these Canadian Dr's sure don't mind getting their hands dirty ...I didn't have 1 internal my whole 1st pregnancy except on the day of D's birth when I was in labour...and by then you could have shoved the Eiffel Tower up there sidewards and I wouldn't have felt a thing..how I LOVE Epidurals!
After that was over she invited me into her office and explained why they were so eager to see me, and determine what type of twins I was having...She said the scan indicated I had identical twins, with a low lying placenta ( which could be why I had bled, but that was not a worry right now as they usually rise with twins), the worrying thing on the scan was that they are in the same sac..this made the pregnancy high risk, i would almost certainly be getting a C-Section early and would be monitored closely throughout my pregnancy and she was referring me to a Dr M, whose special field of interest was twins! She didn't make a big issue, and I knew nothing about twins..so had no questions about the most recent news, and besides by this point I was tired from the last 24 hours excitement and was eager to get home, so i thanked her and under her advice made an appointment in 4 weeks for another scan and a consultation with Dr M.

So, I went home, told BD the 'news'..and we of course turned to THE WEB for clarification and information!!!!!

So here is the 'technical bit'and what we found out...most people know that you can have either Identical or non-identical( aka fraternal)twins..

Fraternal twins are when the mother produces 2 eggs that are fertilized and they have their own little worlds inside the mothers womb( a placenta each and their own sacs they grow in)..These are the most common twins, and generally have the least problems.

Identical Twins are less common ( 1 in 333 births) and are created when 1 fertilized egg SPLITS in two..and there are 3 types of identical twins depending on WHEN the egg splits:

1. An early split (0-3days) results in 2 placentas, 2 outersacs and 2 inner sacs ( and you will not know if they are identical till blood tests are taken, as they look like fraternal twins from the ultra sound)...this is about 20-25% of ID twins( known as DIA-DIA twins).
2. A split between 3-7days results in 1 shared placenta, 1 outer(chorion) sac and 2 inner ( or amniotic) sac..this is the vast majority of ID twins ..about 75%-80%.(DIA-MONO twins)
3. A late split ( 8-13 days) results in 1 placenta, 1 chorion sac and 1 amniotic sac ..so nothing separates the twins from each other..This is the rarest type of twin..an occurs in about 1% of ID twins..and they are called MONO-MONO twins.

GUESS WHAT WE WERE TOLD WE HAVE?????? I TOLD you nothing normal happens to me...Dr S said we have MONO-MONO Twins!! Do you know how small a number 1% of 1 in 333 is!! Quick buy me a friggin lottery ticket!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All jokes aside for the time being...friends..this is not good..having 2 babies puts you in a high risk group compared to normal single births anyhow ..add sharing the same food supply source( placenta) and being able to get tangled up together( the cords are floating free in the same space as the 2 babies..and an average cord is 51cm long!)..means RISK, on top of RISK on top of RISK! When we saw all of this online, together with fetal morality rates of 50% quoted ...the wind well and truly came out of our sails!


I'll give you a brief idea of how this will effect our 'plan'..if this is DEFINITELY the case and they are Mono-Mono.

Plan pre Twins
1 Baby
Give birth at 40weeks 11th Nov
Work right up to beg Nov
Healthy Full term baby

MONO-MONO Reality:
Hopefully both babies survive to viability.
Try and get to 32 weeks ( mid SEPTEMBER)
Hospital bed rest from 24 weeks ( JULY)
Premature babies in NCIU for weeks


After reading all this info and talking online to Mono-mono mums on a great website www.monoamniotic.org , we knew we needed to get this diagnosis confirmed asap.
I managed to get the appointment for another Ultra Sound and consultation with DR M ( the specialist) moved to Tuesday after begging my family DR to pull some favours ...scarily he wasn't aware of this condition..I had to tell him all about it, as it's so rare! Everyone in the family is worried and I can't stand knowing TOO much but not knowing enough.....

Needless to say the 5km runs and housework has stopped...it's feet up time for this big mamma!

Please cross your fingers AND toes for us on Tuesday.......just this ONE TIME I would like to be 'normal'.

Bye for now
slw

Friday, May 18, 2007

Oh heck!! Just when you thought life was easy......

I guess I better introduce myself..and explain why I have decided to clog up this little bit of world wide web space with my insane and crazy ramblings...that is assuming that anyone actually finds this stuff vaguely interesting of course.....

My name for the purposes of this blog is slw, at this point i have no intention of revealing my true identity for a few reasons.
1. I am probably going to reveal pretty embarrassing & personal stuff for the purposes of relieving my life's current stress's through humour and honesty.
2. My partner would be mortified if anyone knew that he was living with such a screw ball..I hide my insanity fairly well in front of his family & friends.
3. I have heard there are weird psychos out there in cyberspace and I don't want to be hunted down and murdered in my bed by a crazed stalker.

However I do dream of the day when I am offered large amounts of money to write a book and unveil my identity..until then slw will just have to do!

So, why the heck have I started this 'therapy' now? Well a little background for you....

I am a 32year old English woman who emigrated to Canada from the UK last year with my Canadian fiance ( lets call him 'big daddy' or BD for the purposes of this blog) . BD and I have been together for over 4years and have a beautiful 3year old son, we live in a nice small city, we live in a nice house and we both have normal jobs that pay well...in fact we are pretty lucky and life is good.
I have had a very interesting & colorful life so far, lots of travel, great experiences and I am lucky to have amazing & wonderful friends all over the world..however.if they were asked they would be sure to tell you that I am one of those people ( we all know them) ..that always has strange and funny things happen to them ...yet another of these 'life events' has prompted me to start writing this blog. BD actually suggested I write a book, but I think of myself as quite modern, and a blog just seemed easier some how.

In about late Jan this year BD and I decided ( in a moment of red wine induced idiocy may I add) to have another baby..now this in itself is quite a momentous event, as our son D was the most fabulous mistake either of us has ever made. But ..no WE were all grown up and we were going to actually PLAN this child ..like 'normal' people do, you see I am an only child and always planned on 2 kids, and BD liked the idea of more too...so what the hell..lets DO IT! I think the fact that it was mid winter and -25degrees outside may have influenced our decision..and to be frank, there is not really much else to do round these parts but try to keep warm till Spring arrives.

So pills were thrown away, sexy underwear dusted off and we hopped into bed like giggling teenagers pretending to be grown up..we were going to MAKE A BABY!
Our conflicting work schedules at the time did not really allow for frequent attempts, but we weren't desperately trying , and to be honest i think we both kinda forgot about it after the red wine wore off.
A little while later BD decided to resign from his job, and it occur ed to me it would probably be a good idea if i went back on the pill, as he should really find a new job he liked before we went ahead with mission 'planned baby'.

After a work party a week or so later, I felt really ( REALLY) shitty..and looked even worse..I had enjoyed a few drinks ( ok..a few more than a few ) the night before ..but I hadn't been on a major bender or anything..and it was whilst walking round Costco later that afternoon that it occurred to me that I should probably get a pregnancy test ..as I was sure I was overdue.....YES you guessed it..mission well and truly accomplished..
REALITY HITS ..Followed swiftly by PANIC and DISBELIEF! It is obvious that we are really, really good at this baby making stuff!!!!!!!


So now we know each other a little better..the story Truly begins to unfold.

I am sure that the vast majority of people who read this have either been pregnant themselves, had a partner who is pregnant or at least known SOMEONE who is or has been pregnant..it is not that unusual...although it has to be said, that until you become pregnant yourself you don't realize what all the fuss is about!
In fact pre having my son i just thought it was a good excuse to eat what you want and get fat for 9 months ..I never really thought about it very deeply or knew the problems and issues motherhood and pregnancy bring into your life. It was like a secret club that you never knew existed till all of a sudden you join the ranks of the 'knocked up' and the members only lounge suddenly appears as if by magic all around you! Weird.

So I had been through all this before, and although pretty shocked at the suddenness of my condition and how bloody fast & efficiently 'mission planned baby' had been completed...(TAKE NOTE George Bush), I was ready and more than capable of once again breezing through pregnancy and birth, having a beautiful, easy child and juggling our lives so efficiently that we hardly felt a thing! Just like last time!
I told my boss, said I didn't need a year off, 3 months is fine thanks..come on most of the women round the world drop a baby in the dirt and go back to work the next day...I didn't need 1 year..I didn't need 3 months really , I just wanted 3 months to enjoy the holiday and the special time with the newest family addition. Oh , and I told my boss not to worry..i don't get morning sickness, I will work right up to the birth..no worries here, no special treatment ..hey I LOVE my job..don't worry about targets being missed..that's not me ..no way!

And so, it went on, just as i predicted, no morning sickness, no silly cravings, no missed days at work...did have a few things different to last time though...VERY thirsty all the time, I was peeing on average 25 times a day( which is really annoying), very, very tired between 6-11 weeks of my pregnancy and worst.. the most bum bursting, pile forming constipation I could imagine!
...NOW friends (this is where the honest and embarrassing stuff comes in that i mentioned in my introduction) I am generally a very regular girl, 2 times a day in fact is usual for me.. so imagine my shock when i just STOPPED going for a poo! FOR DAYS! And when i did go it was like trying to pass a large slab of dry jagged concrete! OUCH is not the word! At one point, I was in the ladies 2nd floor bathroom at work for 25minutes trying to pass what felt to be a half ton piece of glass from my backside, and i started to panic..what if it's stuck ? Should I shout for help? Should i ask for someone to get me some KY jelly? Would I have to perform a self inflicted EPISIOTOMY just 12 weeks into my pregnancy so i could give birth to this large POO? Just at that point and to my utter relief, with one last ( very painful push) I was relieved of having to take any of the considered action..and then and there I realised that i would never again think people with constipation should stop whinging about how it effects their lives! I am telling you it KILLS, and every trip to the bathroom was a nightmare. THANK god by 12 weeks this symptom ceased and I was back to my old faithful 2 dumps a day bowels ( how I appreciate them now!).

A fantastic thing about being pregnant ( for me anyhow) is BOOBS!! Wonderful , marvelous, full ,bouncy, firm, traffic stopping, jiggly BOOBS! Hurrah! Generally I am as little as you can get.. a pathetically small 34a. I used to be a reasonably small 34B, but after my first pregnancy and 6 months of breast feeding they returned to trainer bra status ( although they started about 1 inch further down my chest than they used to be before I got pregnant..NO FAIR!)..so I am determined to make the most of these suckers ( excuse the pun) , because I KNOW that i only have them for a very short time , before the next baby sucks the last life and shred of elasticity out of them! And just to top it off..they seemed to be growing bigger by the day, way faster than last time...this was GREAT!Ok, so my belly was starting to show too..but that coz it's baby number 2..my friend with 2 had warned me you show earlier...heck..who cares..no one is looking at my pot belly when they can look at my fabulous,bountiful cleavage in my newly purchased low V neck tops!

I went to the Dr's for my 1st pre natal appointment..What an experience that was! I had an appointment booked and when I was called through the nurse took my blood pressure and weighed me at her nurses station, then led me into the Dr's examination room ( small room with desk, a few chairs and a built in bed.) , she said I may as well get undressed and the Dr would be in to see me presently. I asked what did I need to take off? She said that I was having a full medical checkup, I said I didn't think I had ever had a 'full medical check up' before, so didn't know what clothes to take off...she said 'everything but your smile' and patted the bed. Yikes! Now i am not overly shy, but taking all your clothes off and sitting waiting for a Dr you have never met to come in felt rather uncomfortable! Glad i had had a shave in the bath the night before that's for sure! Luckily there were some magazines on the desk , so after I had got starkers I sat pretending to read an article on research development advancements towards the cure for Lupus...it's surprising how much a magazine can cover up if you bend over a little! Eventually the Dr arrived, he was very pleasant and handed me a paper sheet ( THANKS NURSE!) to cover up a little and went through a list of questions etc.. he checked everything from my boobs( I could tell he was impressed), reflexes, eyes and thyroid...and then disappeared and came back with a fetal heart monitor and he managed VERY easily to pick up the babies heart beat ( So I know it's real!) .it was very strong and he was happy and it confirmed what i thought with my dates ..I was 11weeks and the due date given was November 13th. Usually 2nd pregnancies mirror the 1st ( see you guys wouldn't know this!), so as i was 2 days early and delivered D in under 6 hours, he would expect the same kind of time line for this one ( labour probably quicker YIKES!..I have requested that they just put me in hospital a week before on an epidural 'just in case' ) . He explained that he would see me up until week 36 , then I would see the lady doctor in the surgery who is the expert at delivering babies ( no midwives system here), and she would take me through and deliver the baby when the time came. I planned see him in 4 weeks then he would book my first scan .. He then sent me off to the lab ( attached to the surgery) next door for blood work... JESUS....the med assistant could NOT get blood out of my right arm..after some wiggling about which started me feeling a bit queasy... he then poked my left arm and very slowly filled 2 of the 5 vials that he asked me to pass him...i felt my vision getting spottier and got a hot sweat..before i said " I feel a little faint" ...I woke up with my head on a nurses shoulder and an ice pack on my neck. She lead me to a room with a bed where i lay for 20mins before she filled the other 3 vials ..(with out any poking or wiggling thank god) and i set off home! So that was quite the experience!! Apart from that i was feeling fine, I was getting over the initial fatigue and was full of energy. Actually jogged to the gym and back for a work out..was determined to put on NO more than 25lb this time...NOT 60lb like last time! I was eating a little too much earlier, and now the warm weather had arrived it was salads, exercise and fresh air for this Mum to be!
I was going to pop this sucker out and be back into my jeans by Xmas!! EASY! Or..so I thought....

Life was great, summers well on the way i am jogging 5k with a friend 2/week..feeling fabulous..we'd told all our friends and family as we were passed the '3month'mark that everyone who is pregnant can't wait to pass ( that's when most miscarriages occur), our son D was a little disappointed he was getting a baby brother or sister instead of the puppy that he had requested..but he is a real laid back happy little chappy and was kissing the baby in Mummy belly every night, and seemed to 'kind of'understand what was gong on...BLISS..that was until Sunday 13th May ( Mothers day in Canada), I had an active day of walks, gardening and going to the gym and after putting D to bed and watching Desperate Housewives ( I LOVE Lynettes parenting skills), I had a soak in the bath and got ready for bed...when I got out of the bath is when I realised i was bleeding ..and not from my nose either!

Calmly I told BD and got on the phone instantly to the Dr's. He advised me to go straight to emergency...so, off we went..it was a long and silent drive across town, both of us dreading the worse, but hoping for the best..we really wanted this little bugger to be ok..we'd all ready had some TREMENDOUS arguments about names(and I just don't think naming a puppy Eliza would be right, I am against using human names on animals..told you I am weird..), and I knew that i was winning the battle ..so the baby HAD to be ok! We pulled up and went in, after nearly fainting on arrival I was put into a wheelchair to wait for our turn, and after about 25 mins in the waiting room ( full of very odd and sick people) we were led to a room by a jolly male nurse who then took my blood pressure( it was low), took blood( didn't faint this time) and put me on a drip to await the Dr. About an hour or so later the Dr appeared and checked me over, he brought in a small ultra sound machine to check to see if the baby was ok....nervous is not the word..but i tend to settle my nerves with dry humour, so to break the ice i said ...great, best check theres only 1 in there..and we all laughed a little while he squirted the freezing cold gel on my tummy.

He found the baby pretty quick and turned the screen for me to see ..i called BD over and we had a little squeeze hand and smile as we saw the tiny baby 'blob thing' on the screen. Phew!! The Dr turned the screen back round and began checking for anything that could cause the bleeding ( which by this time had stopped) ..as I watched him he started to look puzzled and was intently staring at the screen as he scanned my belly from one side to the other...I could see something was up.he looked at me , and said
You know I am not an Ultra Sound expert, and I wouldn't normally say anything..but ( at this point he turned the screen to face me again)..there are definitely two babies in there



OH MY GOD!!!!! THIS WAS NOT IN THE PLAN!!!! 2 children MAXIMUM was my life plan...EVERYONE knew that!There are NO twins in my family..what the hell!!!
BD just laughed and said "I said you're belly was much bigger than last time" we were both shocked and after the Dr left the room to hunt down an Obstetrician, we just stared into space , looked over at each other..laughed ..then stared into space again. after what seemed like an eternity the young lady OB arrived, confirmed by means of an internal ( YUCK! hate them..especially with BD sat in the room with a dumb smirk on his face as i get into the dreaded stirrups) , and checking the size of the uterous ( much bigger than for a single baby at this stage) and gave me a number to call in the morning at 8am , to get an appointmnet at the high risk pregnancy unit with a Dr S , for a better Ultra sound to determine what 'type ' of twins we were having( what theres types of twins! thats news to me!)....after congratulating us she sent us home, and that was that!!!

After VERY little sleep i went to the Dr's office in the morning and had an Ultra Sound which confirmed the twins, they looked healthy and the right size,and the hearts were beating nice and strongly..then the Dr turned to me and said ...Congratulations on your IDENTICAL twins!! COME ON !! STOP WITH ALL THE SURPRISES ALLREADY!!!!!!!!!I cannot take any more shocks to the system..little did I know then that there were more to come..but you, my friends can wait for that on my next post...as it's late and i am tired ...speak to you soon.

FOR SOME TECHNICAL REASON THE SITE IS NOT ALLOWING COMMENTS ON THIS 1ST POST..BUT YOU CAN COMMENT ON THE 2ND POST IF YOU WISH ...I AM TRYING TO SORT THIS OUT. TX