Friday, May 18, 2007

Oh heck!! Just when you thought life was easy......

I guess I better introduce myself..and explain why I have decided to clog up this little bit of world wide web space with my insane and crazy ramblings...that is assuming that anyone actually finds this stuff vaguely interesting of course.....

My name for the purposes of this blog is slw, at this point i have no intention of revealing my true identity for a few reasons.
1. I am probably going to reveal pretty embarrassing & personal stuff for the purposes of relieving my life's current stress's through humour and honesty.
2. My partner would be mortified if anyone knew that he was living with such a screw ball..I hide my insanity fairly well in front of his family & friends.
3. I have heard there are weird psychos out there in cyberspace and I don't want to be hunted down and murdered in my bed by a crazed stalker.

However I do dream of the day when I am offered large amounts of money to write a book and unveil my identity..until then slw will just have to do!

So, why the heck have I started this 'therapy' now? Well a little background for you....

I am a 32year old English woman who emigrated to Canada from the UK last year with my Canadian fiance ( lets call him 'big daddy' or BD for the purposes of this blog) . BD and I have been together for over 4years and have a beautiful 3year old son, we live in a nice small city, we live in a nice house and we both have normal jobs that pay fact we are pretty lucky and life is good.
I have had a very interesting & colorful life so far, lots of travel, great experiences and I am lucky to have amazing & wonderful friends all over the world..however.if they were asked they would be sure to tell you that I am one of those people ( we all know them) ..that always has strange and funny things happen to them ...yet another of these 'life events' has prompted me to start writing this blog. BD actually suggested I write a book, but I think of myself as quite modern, and a blog just seemed easier some how.

In about late Jan this year BD and I decided ( in a moment of red wine induced idiocy may I add) to have another this in itself is quite a momentous event, as our son D was the most fabulous mistake either of us has ever made. But WE were all grown up and we were going to actually PLAN this child 'normal' people do, you see I am an only child and always planned on 2 kids, and BD liked the idea of more what the hell..lets DO IT! I think the fact that it was mid winter and -25degrees outside may have influenced our decision..and to be frank, there is not really much else to do round these parts but try to keep warm till Spring arrives.

So pills were thrown away, sexy underwear dusted off and we hopped into bed like giggling teenagers pretending to be grown up..we were going to MAKE A BABY!
Our conflicting work schedules at the time did not really allow for frequent attempts, but we weren't desperately trying , and to be honest i think we both kinda forgot about it after the red wine wore off.
A little while later BD decided to resign from his job, and it occur ed to me it would probably be a good idea if i went back on the pill, as he should really find a new job he liked before we went ahead with mission 'planned baby'.

After a work party a week or so later, I felt really ( REALLY) shitty..and looked even worse..I had enjoyed a few drinks ( ok..a few more than a few ) the night before ..but I hadn't been on a major bender or anything..and it was whilst walking round Costco later that afternoon that it occurred to me that I should probably get a pregnancy test I was sure I was overdue.....YES you guessed it..mission well and truly accomplished..
REALITY HITS ..Followed swiftly by PANIC and DISBELIEF! It is obvious that we are really, really good at this baby making stuff!!!!!!!

So now we know each other a little better..the story Truly begins to unfold.

I am sure that the vast majority of people who read this have either been pregnant themselves, had a partner who is pregnant or at least known SOMEONE who is or has been is not that unusual...although it has to be said, that until you become pregnant yourself you don't realize what all the fuss is about!
In fact pre having my son i just thought it was a good excuse to eat what you want and get fat for 9 months ..I never really thought about it very deeply or knew the problems and issues motherhood and pregnancy bring into your life. It was like a secret club that you never knew existed till all of a sudden you join the ranks of the 'knocked up' and the members only lounge suddenly appears as if by magic all around you! Weird.

So I had been through all this before, and although pretty shocked at the suddenness of my condition and how bloody fast & efficiently 'mission planned baby' had been completed...(TAKE NOTE George Bush), I was ready and more than capable of once again breezing through pregnancy and birth, having a beautiful, easy child and juggling our lives so efficiently that we hardly felt a thing! Just like last time!
I told my boss, said I didn't need a year off, 3 months is fine thanks..come on most of the women round the world drop a baby in the dirt and go back to work the next day...I didn't need 1 year..I didn't need 3 months really , I just wanted 3 months to enjoy the holiday and the special time with the newest family addition. Oh , and I told my boss not to worry..i don't get morning sickness, I will work right up to the worries here, no special treatment ..hey I LOVE my job..don't worry about targets being missed..that's not me way!

And so, it went on, just as i predicted, no morning sickness, no silly cravings, no missed days at work...did have a few things different to last time though...VERY thirsty all the time, I was peeing on average 25 times a day( which is really annoying), very, very tired between 6-11 weeks of my pregnancy and worst.. the most bum bursting, pile forming constipation I could imagine!
...NOW friends (this is where the honest and embarrassing stuff comes in that i mentioned in my introduction) I am generally a very regular girl, 2 times a day in fact is usual for me.. so imagine my shock when i just STOPPED going for a poo! FOR DAYS! And when i did go it was like trying to pass a large slab of dry jagged concrete! OUCH is not the word! At one point, I was in the ladies 2nd floor bathroom at work for 25minutes trying to pass what felt to be a half ton piece of glass from my backside, and i started to panic..what if it's stuck ? Should I shout for help? Should i ask for someone to get me some KY jelly? Would I have to perform a self inflicted EPISIOTOMY just 12 weeks into my pregnancy so i could give birth to this large POO? Just at that point and to my utter relief, with one last ( very painful push) I was relieved of having to take any of the considered action..and then and there I realised that i would never again think people with constipation should stop whinging about how it effects their lives! I am telling you it KILLS, and every trip to the bathroom was a nightmare. THANK god by 12 weeks this symptom ceased and I was back to my old faithful 2 dumps a day bowels ( how I appreciate them now!).

A fantastic thing about being pregnant ( for me anyhow) is BOOBS!! Wonderful , marvelous, full ,bouncy, firm, traffic stopping, jiggly BOOBS! Hurrah! Generally I am as little as you can get.. a pathetically small 34a. I used to be a reasonably small 34B, but after my first pregnancy and 6 months of breast feeding they returned to trainer bra status ( although they started about 1 inch further down my chest than they used to be before I got pregnant..NO FAIR!) I am determined to make the most of these suckers ( excuse the pun) , because I KNOW that i only have them for a very short time , before the next baby sucks the last life and shred of elasticity out of them! And just to top it off..they seemed to be growing bigger by the day, way faster than last time...this was GREAT!Ok, so my belly was starting to show too..but that coz it's baby number friend with 2 had warned me you show earlier...heck..who one is looking at my pot belly when they can look at my fabulous,bountiful cleavage in my newly purchased low V neck tops!

I went to the Dr's for my 1st pre natal appointment..What an experience that was! I had an appointment booked and when I was called through the nurse took my blood pressure and weighed me at her nurses station, then led me into the Dr's examination room ( small room with desk, a few chairs and a built in bed.) , she said I may as well get undressed and the Dr would be in to see me presently. I asked what did I need to take off? She said that I was having a full medical checkup, I said I didn't think I had ever had a 'full medical check up' before, so didn't know what clothes to take off...she said 'everything but your smile' and patted the bed. Yikes! Now i am not overly shy, but taking all your clothes off and sitting waiting for a Dr you have never met to come in felt rather uncomfortable! Glad i had had a shave in the bath the night before that's for sure! Luckily there were some magazines on the desk , so after I had got starkers I sat pretending to read an article on research development advancements towards the cure for's surprising how much a magazine can cover up if you bend over a little! Eventually the Dr arrived, he was very pleasant and handed me a paper sheet ( THANKS NURSE!) to cover up a little and went through a list of questions etc.. he checked everything from my boobs( I could tell he was impressed), reflexes, eyes and thyroid...and then disappeared and came back with a fetal heart monitor and he managed VERY easily to pick up the babies heart beat ( So I know it's real!) .it was very strong and he was happy and it confirmed what i thought with my dates ..I was 11weeks and the due date given was November 13th. Usually 2nd pregnancies mirror the 1st ( see you guys wouldn't know this!), so as i was 2 days early and delivered D in under 6 hours, he would expect the same kind of time line for this one ( labour probably quicker YIKES!..I have requested that they just put me in hospital a week before on an epidural 'just in case' ) . He explained that he would see me up until week 36 , then I would see the lady doctor in the surgery who is the expert at delivering babies ( no midwives system here), and she would take me through and deliver the baby when the time came. I planned see him in 4 weeks then he would book my first scan .. He then sent me off to the lab ( attached to the surgery) next door for blood work... JESUS....the med assistant could NOT get blood out of my right arm..after some wiggling about which started me feeling a bit queasy... he then poked my left arm and very slowly filled 2 of the 5 vials that he asked me to pass him...i felt my vision getting spottier and got a hot sweat..before i said " I feel a little faint" ...I woke up with my head on a nurses shoulder and an ice pack on my neck. She lead me to a room with a bed where i lay for 20mins before she filled the other 3 vials ..(with out any poking or wiggling thank god) and i set off home! So that was quite the experience!! Apart from that i was feeling fine, I was getting over the initial fatigue and was full of energy. Actually jogged to the gym and back for a work out..was determined to put on NO more than 25lb this time...NOT 60lb like last time! I was eating a little too much earlier, and now the warm weather had arrived it was salads, exercise and fresh air for this Mum to be!
I was going to pop this sucker out and be back into my jeans by Xmas!! EASY! I thought....

Life was great, summers well on the way i am jogging 5k with a friend 2/week..feeling fabulous..we'd told all our friends and family as we were passed the '3month'mark that everyone who is pregnant can't wait to pass ( that's when most miscarriages occur), our son D was a little disappointed he was getting a baby brother or sister instead of the puppy that he had requested..but he is a real laid back happy little chappy and was kissing the baby in Mummy belly every night, and seemed to 'kind of'understand what was gong on...BLISS..that was until Sunday 13th May ( Mothers day in Canada), I had an active day of walks, gardening and going to the gym and after putting D to bed and watching Desperate Housewives ( I LOVE Lynettes parenting skills), I had a soak in the bath and got ready for bed...when I got out of the bath is when I realised i was bleeding ..and not from my nose either!

Calmly I told BD and got on the phone instantly to the Dr's. He advised me to go straight to, off we was a long and silent drive across town, both of us dreading the worse, but hoping for the best..we really wanted this little bugger to be ok..we'd all ready had some TREMENDOUS arguments about names(and I just don't think naming a puppy Eliza would be right, I am against using human names on animals..told you I am weird..), and I knew that i was winning the battle the baby HAD to be ok! We pulled up and went in, after nearly fainting on arrival I was put into a wheelchair to wait for our turn, and after about 25 mins in the waiting room ( full of very odd and sick people) we were led to a room by a jolly male nurse who then took my blood pressure( it was low), took blood( didn't faint this time) and put me on a drip to await the Dr. About an hour or so later the Dr appeared and checked me over, he brought in a small ultra sound machine to check to see if the baby was ok....nervous is not the word..but i tend to settle my nerves with dry humour, so to break the ice i said ...great, best check theres only 1 in there..and we all laughed a little while he squirted the freezing cold gel on my tummy.

He found the baby pretty quick and turned the screen for me to see ..i called BD over and we had a little squeeze hand and smile as we saw the tiny baby 'blob thing' on the screen. Phew!! The Dr turned the screen back round and began checking for anything that could cause the bleeding ( which by this time had stopped) I watched him he started to look puzzled and was intently staring at the screen as he scanned my belly from one side to the other...I could see something was up.he looked at me , and said
You know I am not an Ultra Sound expert, and I wouldn't normally say anything..but ( at this point he turned the screen to face me again)..there are definitely two babies in there

OH MY GOD!!!!! THIS WAS NOT IN THE PLAN!!!! 2 children MAXIMUM was my life plan...EVERYONE knew that!There are NO twins in my family..what the hell!!!
BD just laughed and said "I said you're belly was much bigger than last time" we were both shocked and after the Dr left the room to hunt down an Obstetrician, we just stared into space , looked over at each other..laughed ..then stared into space again. after what seemed like an eternity the young lady OB arrived, confirmed by means of an internal ( YUCK! hate them..especially with BD sat in the room with a dumb smirk on his face as i get into the dreaded stirrups) , and checking the size of the uterous ( much bigger than for a single baby at this stage) and gave me a number to call in the morning at 8am , to get an appointmnet at the high risk pregnancy unit with a Dr S , for a better Ultra sound to determine what 'type ' of twins we were having( what theres types of twins! thats news to me!)....after congratulating us she sent us home, and that was that!!!

After VERY little sleep i went to the Dr's office in the morning and had an Ultra Sound which confirmed the twins, they looked healthy and the right size,and the hearts were beating nice and strongly..then the Dr turned to me and said ...Congratulations on your IDENTICAL twins!! COME ON !! STOP WITH ALL THE SURPRISES ALLREADY!!!!!!!!!I cannot take any more shocks to the system..little did I know then that there were more to come..but you, my friends can wait for that on my next it's late and i am tired ...speak to you soon.