Arghhhh

Just when I thought ENOUGH is enough!

It’s Thursday night at 9.30pm, I am in a semi private room in the University Hospitals Ante-Partum ward, and have been here since mid-day on Monday.
To my massive disappointment I was told soon after arrival that there is no internet access for patients in the hospital at all…….arghhhh..cut off from the outside world completely for a month..how am I going to cope without email and the online-support group???? In fact the only way I can continue with my blog is to write up everything on word then get someone to help me escape somewhere with internet access( the University campus and the city downtown has wireless) for an hour max, so I can transfer it over and check my emails..not exactly what I had envisioned! So I will probably be only adding new posts 1/week….and they are probably going to be long.

I am here for fetal monitoring and am getting 2 / hour long NST sessions ( Non Stress Tests…monitoring fetal heart rate ) per day and several Ultra sound/ Doppler flow studies /week ( Doppler flow studies are done on the ultra sound machine and it shows how the blood is moving through the umbilical cords). What we DO NOT want to see is decals (heart decelerations) as that would indicate cord compressions and/or knot tightening…. that means babies in distress and emergency C-section asap.

So, I brought plenty of books and magazines to read and plenty of pampering products to ‘fill in’ all the spare time, friends and colleagues are coming to visit and had promised to bring fabulous tasty foods and treats to spoil me with…however, it seems my body had different ideas as I was told yesterday morning by my Dr that on top of everything else …guess what???? I have gestational diabetes! COME ON..now this is really not fair, I have tried to remain positive and optimistic throughout this journey..which has been hard..on top of the physical discomfort of a twin pregnancy with the fatigue, rapidly expanding girth, increased pressure and contractions, I have been dealing with the massive stress of worrying about the mono-mono situation..which in turn has negatively affected my relationship with BD as we deal with things differently. My son is worried I am not coming home and would prefer the babies just stayed in my belly for ever (not a solution I am willing to consider at this point) and he cries every time he leaves the hospital after visiting me…now on top of ALL of that I can’t even drown my sorrows in food! What exactly did I do to deserve all of this??? I blame my friends for cursing me after my last ‘breeze of a pregnancy’ …even my Dad warned me that I had it easy and should quit after the boy was born…

So my diabetes was confirmed yesterday, and to be honest I was not surprised as I have been a thirsty, hungry peeing machine for weeks, in fact I had brought up my concern with the Dr a few weeks ago, but was told that my age, weight, history etc..meant it was unlikely I would be affected….HA!…my gut instinct was right again.
So how does it effect me and the babies? Well, luckily now they know I have it the babies will be fine ( if left untreated Gestational diabetes can result in very small or more often overly large babies…and rarely still birth) , I on the other hand am at a greater risk of developing diabetes later in life, and although 99% of the time the condition ends when the pregnancy ends, sometimes this is not the case. How it effects me now is very simple,my body cannot break down sugars effectively, so my diet has been radically changed and calorie restricted, and if that in itself doesn’t work then I will have to get regular insulin injections for the remainder of the pregnancy. To monitor my blood sugar levels I have to test my blood (by pricking my finger and putting blood on a swab and into a meter) before and after every meal, before bed and 1st thing in the morning…that on top of painful steroid injections in my ass, other blood works, blood pressure and temp checks daily means my life is more hectic here than when I was at work full time!!!!

It is comforting to see the babies doing well on the monitors, as they have had no decals at all thus far, and are they ever moving around!! My belly is oftentimes like a freak show with heels and bums and elbows sticking out all over the place…weird! This morning I went for an ultra sound and the Dr switched the machine to 4D and I got to see one of my babies face as if it was a photograph…..I can’t describe how amazing that was, how clear and beautiful she looked with chubby cheeks and her Daddy’s nose. The other twin was lying face down and they were right next to each other, so I only got to see her cute little bum and the back of her ear. But like the Dr said “seen 1, seen them both with identical!”
Bizarre! The estimated weights were 3lb 2oz and 2lb 13oz so they are doing fabulous and if we make it to the optimum 32 weeks they are looking to be on track for over 4lb each..which is way more than we could have hoped for as every ounce counts once they come out!